


anything

by ElasticElla



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mild Gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 04:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6180133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“You know I'd do anything for you.”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>“You don't have to die.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	anything

**Author's Note:**

> for [this prompt](http://ladygawain.livejournal.com/83265.html?thread=1001537#t1001537) at the ficathon

The problem is that even without Simon, Clary still orbits around his memory. (He never had a chance for a soft death.)

He said anything once, twice, more times than she could possibly count. And she'd never needed it before, it had always just been there, a luxurious reminder of how deep their friendship went. But now there's no time for pretty reminders, and no matter what Luke said, she _can't_ let Simon die- not when there's another way staring her in the face.

She picks the shovel, and clutches the word harder than ever, _anything_. 

.

Simon crawls out of the earth with a million different adjectives Clary instantly fights against, and she insists he's the same. 

He says he's a monster, but he's got the pronouns wrong- _she's_ the monster, _she's_ the one who couldn't bear to live without him. 

Simon crawls out of the earth, and Clary's heart starts beating twice as fast to make up for it. 

.

Loving Simon isn't new, not nearly. The new thing is the guilt dragging behind it- if she didn't love him so much, if they weren't so co-dependent, if, if, if-

Wanting to consume Simon is new though. Wanting to be right beside him forever, and _never_ let anything or anyone come between them. 

There's a new intensity, and Clary needs to blame the death scare. 

(Because if it isn't that, Simon's really changed. Because if it isn't that, Clary would have never wanted to kiss him while he could still breathe- and _that_ , that makes her hate herself even more.)

She wants Simon to consume her, and he _could_. 

.

She kisses Simon because she's greedy, and he said _anything_ and this has to be better than crawling out of his own grave. (He doesn't taste like she expects, too coppery, too bloody, too reminiscent of his new form. And Clary can't stop, won't stop kissing him until the taste becomes familiar.)

“Clary, stop- I can't, you need to get away from me.” 

But Clary doesn't budge an inch, her arms tighter around his back. “I trust you.”

Simon swallows, “Clary, I could _kill_ you.” 

“There's no way I'd rather die.” 

There's a flash of hunger in his eyes before anger and horror take over, and Clary doesn't flinch when he punches a hole through the wall. 

“You can't,” he starts, pained, and then delicately brushes the bits of cement out of her hair. “I couldn't live with myself.” 

“I know,” Clary says, stepping into his space. “I know you won't kill me Simon.” 

Simon swallows, looking down. “I can't stop thinking about it, your blood. I can't- it doesn't matter when I fed last, Clary, I'm always hungry.” 

Clary pulls her ponytail to one side, cocking her head. “I said I trust you Simon.” 

“Clary, I'm not bluffing, I can't-”

“Neither am I! I know you can do this.” 

Simon gulps, eyes on her neck, and Clary knows they can fix this, knows-

She bites back a scream when Simon's teeth suddenly sink into her neck, and she grips his hair tight in case he changes his mind. The pain doesn't fade or slow, and Clary keeps herself quiet, feels herself weaken as Simon takes more and more of her blood. 

She slumps against the wall when her body feels too heavy, and Simon follows, pinning her. She'd be a lot more turned on right now if she wasn't feeling so dizzy, and Simon's leg slips between hers, evoking a groan that's at least a little pleasure. 

Simon pulls off her neck then, “Fuck- Clary, tell me you're okay!” 

Clary smiles up at him with a small delirious giggle. “I think that was too much.” 

“You think?” Simon says sarcastically, easily picking Clary up bridal style and carrying her over to his cot. (Caskets, twenty-four karat gold or not, he'd told her before, weren't very comfortable.) 

“Next time,” Clary murmurs, reaching up to wipe her thumb over Simon's bloody lips. “Next time you'll take less.” 

“You're delusional- Clary, we are _never_ doing that again!”

Clary pouts up at Simon, and she likes having her head in his lap like this- it's like before almost. “You didn't like it?” 

Simon runs a hand over his face, “I don't like putting you in danger for no reason.” 

Clary's brows come together, and the thought takes a little longer than usual to come to her. “You need to feed, that's not no reason.” 

He sighs, “We can talk about this after you've slept.” 

Clary beams up at him, wrapping her arms around his torso. “As long as you stay.” 

Simon lets out a humorless laugh, “I can't exactly leave during the day.” 

Clary frowns, opens her mouth- and Simon's hand is covering her lips. 

“Ah-ah, go to sleep Clary. I won't go anywhere.” 

And Clary can accept that, today's already been good enough.


End file.
